11.30.2007

And Oooh Baby I'm Wigged

Tragedy!

Today is the last day of November which marks the last day of NaBloPoMo. And I actually made it!

I know. It was only a month. But that month was hard!

YOU try making sure you've got some time to sit in front of a computer and tell stories every day before midnight comes around!

I'm worn out! Expect zero posts in December!

I wanted my last post to be long, eloquent and meaningful.

But this week has driven me to drink. I guess that will have to wait for another day.

But not in December!

11.29.2007

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

Greatest ever.

You Could Move on This Moment

Jail MailWhen I first moved into the penthome, six years ag--Wait! Six years? I am indeed getting old.

Anyway, I bought this marker board to write stuff on. And then I never wrote on it. So I started writing quotes on it.

I think the quotes came from cereal boxes. I really can't remember. But they seemed like quotes I should gather inspiration from every time I grabbed a Dr. Pepper.

During this time, I was also working for The Postal Service. I saw a lot of mail. We weren't really supposed to look at it but sometimes you just couldn't help it.

Sometimes the mail was entertaining. Like when kids addressed their own letters to Santa. Or when someone lived on some weird street. Or had some insane name.

But the best mail was jail mail.

At times, the jail mail envelopes were crazy awesome works of art. Other times, they were crazy awesome works of poetry.

The quote featured above is from a piece of jail mail. It really grabbed my attention. I'm not even completely sure what the author was trying to say, but for some reason it spoke to me.

That Tuaca label? No. It did not speak to me.

It's just another one of those things, like many other in my house, that never got thrown out because it's a memento.

One man's trash is my tchotchke.

11.28.2007

For All the Decent Citizens You've Enraged

Suspension

This week has been a particularly crap week at work.

Everyone is friggin crazy and I'm pretty sure they're trying to take me down with them. I really thought my head was going to explode today.

I had the lady that, after ten minutes of babbling facts about her accounts to me, couldn't remember why she needed me.

Then there's the people that can't seem to fathom (thanks for bringing that word back, Justin Bobby) the whole privacy thing. Look, lady, I'm sorry your dad is sick. But you have no ownership or power of attorney on this account. If you had a cold, would you want me to let Billy from down the street check out your accounts? Would you really?

I think what bugs me the most about it is that people are intentionally hurtful when I'm not able to help them. It's not that I don't try. I give you every option and opportunity to be helped but I can't hold your hand through your whole financial life.

"I hope you go to hell!"

No really. My left eyebrow aches from frowning and being raised all day.

11.27.2007

A Concoction of Some Different Ghetto Blocks

Yes.  That's Hot Dogs and Mustard.

Can somebody come over and do my dishes?

I went to the kitchen to make my normal frozen burrito dinner when I noticed my sweet potatoes. I'd bought them to have another go at Awesome Stew. Instead they were just sitting there.

I figured I should use them before they start growing and talking to me. Like the stuff in my fridge.

So I made not one but two concoctions! I made a sweet potato chicken curry thing that ended up looking like my stew but I used a bunch of canned crap. And then I made sweet potato apple crisp.

I think I'm going to open a sweet potato restaurant.

That is not a picture of what I cooked tonight. That is a picture of the Coney Island pizza Jacque got last week at Knolla's.

Yes that is mustard. And chili.

No, you're not seeing things. Those are hot dogs.

11.26.2007

Fake It if You Feel Like Infection

Air Hockey

This is the expression I expected.

Some of you think I am an ice cream fanatic. But seriously, I am nothing close to Raw. She is the original ice cream fiend.

She is also the only friend I have who is really into lip balm. For all the ten years I've known her, I've never seen her without some sort of vanilla lip glossy stuff.

Today, when I was doing my daily browsing, I came across Ben & Jerry's Lip Balm. It's like two of Raw's favorite things rolled into one!

I called her immediately. "ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR WORLD TO BE ROCKED?"

"What? Um . . . I think so?"

I told her about my amazing discovery and instead of the reaction I expected, she says "Oh yeah. I know. They have it at the Ben & Jerry's store."

I didn't take it well. I really wanted her to be excited.

"I'm sorry. Next time I'll fake it."

That's what she said!

11.25.2007

Sister Don't You Cry

Chicken Mary's

Today, I cooked up one of those Bertolli frozen dinners.

It was one of those where the whole meal comes in the bag. You just dump it and cook it.

When it was done, I was disappointed to see there was one small piece of chicken. I ate the piece and came upon a realization.

One piece was probably too much if you don't want to throw up.

11.24.2007

I Think My Head is Gonna Explode

TurkeyI know you're all dying to find out how the relish tray turned out.

I walked out of the door with six different dips; spinach and herb, asiago, cilantro, bacon, fiesta and key lime. I also had flour tortilla chips, pretzels graham crackers and graham pretzels.

What I was most proud of, though, was my beautiful vegetable platter. There were baby carrots, green onions, cherry tomatoes, celery, peppers in three colors, broccoli and the aforementioned purple cauliflower.

I don't even like most of those vegetables but I painstakingly cut each piece and arranged it carefully on a tray. I was amazed by my awesomness.

I was intending to hitch a ride with BJ and was told the Nitro would be pulling out at nine. He, as usual, made a big deal about how if I showed up even one minute late, he'd be gone. I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up, worried that my alarm wouldn't go off.

That alarm was going off extra early, too. I wanted to make sure I had time to properly prepare the vegetables. I'm not much of a morning person anyway, but with the cold temperature and lack of decent sleep, I was cranky.

The vegetables took longer than I had expected so I was running later than I had scheduled. But even behind schedule, I had the key in the lock of my car door at eight thirty which gave me plenty of time to make it to BJ's.

I lifted the handle on the door and pulled. The door would not open. I tugged some more. Still nothing. I tried the passenger side door and again, no luck.

See, these Buicks . . . there's something about the doors. When it gets cold, they don't want to open. It wasn't even that cold!

I pulled and pulled and then I heard a crack and knew without looking what had happened.

Tragedy!

Engage complete meltdown.

11.23.2007

For What It's Worth, It Was Worth All the While

King Spidey

Tonight, I went with Doll and Bret to see The Mist.

The theatre was packed and someone's phone kept ringing and I didn't like the ending. But I'm glad I went.

I saw something that I have never seen before. And not just on-screen!

I don't want to say too much. But I will say that, until tonight, I have never seen a whole theatre applaud when someone has been shot.

11.22.2007

Too Many Blessings, Too Little Appreciation

I Want a Goat and Chickens

We're having Thanksgiving at the cabin, so I won't get to hang out with the goats and chickens this year.

I'm in charge of the relish tray and BJ is having panic attacks over the fact that I'm not making dill dip. It doesn't matter that I'm bringing a thousand different dips. He's not good with change.

Wait until he sees I got purple cauliflower!

I'm sure, as always, my family will make Thanksgiving . . . special. I hope yours is special--but in the good way--and full of pumpkin pie!

Happy Thanksgiving!

11.21.2007

And I Almost Always Laugh, but That's not Really Funny

The List

Sometimes when I'm out, I try to write things down when I think things are funny. Then I'll remember to post about them later

I wrote a lot of things down Saturday night.

1. Scooping out the bowl was my thing!

We were discussing Raw's cousin and how he visits most weekends. We talked about how funny he was but Casey had a complaint.

"He always eats all the leftovers!"

"So do you, darling!"

"I know but scooping out the bowls used to be my thing!"

2. Wear your seatbelt! I love you!

Raw noticed Casey wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

"I don't wear seatbelts."

"Wear your seatbelt! People love you!"

"I hate wearing seatbelts!"

She must have really wanted him to be safe because she pulled out one of those rarely heard phrases:

"Wear your seatbelt! I love you!"

3. Raw is a dork for knorks

When it came time to eat, Raw was disappointed in her Asian noodle bowl. Casey was nice enough to trade meals. As she ate his porkchop, I heard them mumbling about something.

" . . . make it easier," I heard Raw say.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Casey summed it up quickly. "She's a dork for knorks."

4. Have you ever seen Love and a .45?

Raw and I were talking when Casey felt the strong urge to ask me a question. I wasn't paying attention to him and he got cranky. He huffed and puffed until he got my attention, as if my answer to his question was a matter of life and death.

"Have you ever seen Love and a .45?"

"Yes."

And then he started eating again. Raw and I looked at each other. We didn't know where that question had come from. Why did he ask it? Did he have more to say? Why was it so important a question?

"Did you want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

Yes. Our conversations are that interesting.

5. Checked the score on the toilet.

They don't have a television at Reba's so I was missing the Oklahoma football game. When I checked the score on my mobile, I was glad I was missing the game.

"I am not allowed to check the score anymore!"

Later, I excused myself to use the restroom.

Raw wasn't fooled. She added to my list.

6. I can shoot you if I want to.

I know that none of these seem funny anymore. But this one really doesn't. Mostly because I can't remember what it was about.

7. I just can't stop thinking about Yo Gabba Gabba!

Raw and I started singing the "Yummy in My Tummy" song. Who knows why. It probably started when we told Casey we ate his dessert when he was in the restroom.

Much later that night, Casey and I were conversing about something that was probably quite brilliant. I looked at Raw who was quiet and just kind of staring at nothing.

She looked up at me. "I just can't stop thinking about Yo Gabba Gabba!

8. Raw left me all alone.

I already told you that Raw called it quits earlier than Casey and I. This one wasn't so much about funny as it was about trying to get Raw to stay longer.

9. She ate all my meal.

After I finally guilted Casey into leaving the bar and sitting with me at my table, he saw number eight.

"She ate all my meal. I had to eat spaghetti with cilantro!"

Don't forget! We ate your pumpkin cheesecake, too!

11.20.2007

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

The things I find on Wikipedia!

This is what I found in the article I linked to earlier today.

In the south there is a drink, often served at college parties, composed of lemon-lime soft drink, grenadine, vodka, and garnished with a maraschino cherry, typically called a "Shirley Vomit," due to its similarity to a Shirley Temple and alcohol's tendency to cause one to vomit when ingested in large quantities.

Lemme Talk to Ya, Lemme Buy You a Drink

Kissy

During my sophomore year in high school, I hung out a lot with Jacob. You may remember him from The AFUBU! Club.

The next year, his sister Kissy joined the Debate and Forensics team. Thus we became friends also.

They come from a large family. Their youngest sister, Greta was only like five back then. Michael and I were enchanted with her. She had an awesome name and was adorable. When Greta was around, Michael and I didn't pay much attention to anyone but her.

And then you know how the story goes. you graduate and go away and all the little ones stay the same age in your head. Until you see them and are shocked.

I saw Greta for the first time in almost ten years at Jacob's big birthday bash.

"I hear stories about you," she told me. "But I'm sorry I don't remember you."

It's probably better that way, Greta.

Kissy was working when we went to Reba's this weekend. She told me Greta was in town, visiting one of their other sisters, Kate.

"Tell them to come here!" I joked. "We'll get Greta drunk!"

Later that night, after Kissy had left, Kate and Greta did show up. They didn't see me and walked over to a large table in the corner. We watched as they asked Nick for a drink. Kate got a beer and Greta left with nothing.

"The poor thing will be parched!" I told Raw and Casey. "We should send over a Shirley Temple!"

Casey had Nick take one over and asked him to say "Complements of the lady in red."

The girls never sent back a thank you so as they walked out, I made sure to call them over. "Did you enjoy your Shirley Temple, Greta?"

"You sent that?" Kate asked.

Greta seemed relieved. "I guess it would have been okay to drink, then."

11.19.2007

Memories Trapped in Time

B&W Tree

Last night I watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

I've seen the movie before and didn't really like it. I was disappointed. But it was on last night so I thought I'd give it another chance.

I still wasn't scared or anything. And that's pretty much what you want out of a movie with that title.

I wasn't scared even when the characters were awakened alone at three in the morning by a burning smell. Here they were, always at three, creeping through the darkness and scared out of their minds; I was yawning.

I was pretty tired from my night out at Reba's so I went to bed really early. I fell asleep pretty quickly and slept so hard, I can't even tell you what I was dreaming about. Usually if I'm that out of it, I'll sleep for thirty hours without stirring.

But I woke up and had to use the restroom. I stretched and figured I could hold it if it was almost time to get up. I looked at the clock.

It was three o'clock on the dot.

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

UPDATE: I replaced the below video. Enjoy it while it lasts. I guess the Jonas Brothers are embarrassed and on a mission to destroy all evidence.

I don't know who the Jonas Brothers are. But I know their tambourine man just made me laugh for the past three hours.

Yes. I've just been playing the first few seconds over and over.

11.18.2007

Ready or Not, How You Like Me Now?

Casey

Last night, the girls were at Casey's mom's. Raw was very excited at the prospect of getting a full night's sleep!

Instead, Casey and I drug her to Reba's.

She lasted for quite awhile, finally deciding to leave us at eleven thirty.

Casey and I sat at the bar and threatened each other the rest of the night. "Do you wanna take this outside?"

At one point, it got so heated, Casey described how he would pummel me.


Boom from Aunt Bee on Vimeo.

11.17.2007

11.16.2007

Take It to the Spot Man Now It's Time to Crank It Up

Blue Skies

I forgot to get a few things at Target last night, so I stopped by the slightly creepy Dillons to pick up a few things on my way home.

This Dillons is old and very small. The entryway is poorly planned. There's probably room for three people and one cart. Yet somehow, with everyone going in and out, you have to try to grab a cart and shove your way into the store.

I can't quite explain it. But it's really awkward.

Even more annoying, there's no cart cages in the parking lot. Nobody ever wants to take the carts back to the cart area in the crazy entrance, so they just leave them in the parking lot.

But not me! I'm not a jerkface like that! I always take my cart where it's supposed to go.

I took my cart back to the jam-packed entryway and found what I expected: a traffic jam.

I stood and waited for the eight carts and fifty people to squeeze their way out. As I waited, a woman stood beside me trying to find a route into the store. I thought this was my chance!

"Do you need a cart?" I asked. I was very friendly and motioned toward the cart I was pushing.

This lady looked horrified and recoiled from me.

I'm kind of devastated. That's what I get for trying to be nice.

11.15.2007

A Minute of Perfection Was Worth the Effort

The Pomegranate

I knew I would jinx it!

This week has been especially crappy at work. It's been busy and some things have really set me off and put me in a really really bad mood.

So I decided to go to Target tonight. I'm feeling much better.

I've been really obsessed with pomegranate juice lately. It's tasty and I guess it's really healthy. But I've never actually eaten a pomegranate.

Today was the day to change all that. There they were, just sitting in the produce section, begging me to try one.

I picked one up, brought it home, and went over to ehow to figure out how to eat it.

Of course, I took none of the suggestions and just cut right into it.

Which is probably why I made such a mess. The seeds are tasty but I don't know if I'd recommend buying a pomegranate. It took a lot of work to get this:

The Pomegranate

11.14.2007

Was a Better Place, Full of Space

Mmm . . . Cake!

The other day at work, this girl I don't even know walked by and said "I think that's a really cute shirt." I realized she was talking to me.

"Oh. Thanks." That's where most people would end the conversation but my mouth just never wants to stop. "I got it on clearance at Target. I don't think there's any left."

Is it sad that I would know that all four Target stores in Wichita are out of a particular shirt?

"I didn't know Target had cute stuff like that."

The world stopped around me. What was this crazy lady talking about?

"I never go to Target!"

I clutched my chest. "My heart! You break my heart! Target is my favorite!"

And she continued walking.

I know I may be creepy but I have reasons for feeling as passionately as I do about Target as opposed to other stores. Mostly because I never read stories like this about Target:

This is Why You Never Order Custom Cakes from WalMart.

11.13.2007

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

Jackson

Time to clean out the tabs again.

Recreations are creepy.

Monkeys are scary.

Llamas are berzerker!

Who buys these anyway?

11.12.2007

Brewin' in the Night Kitchen

My Sweet Potato Stew

So I am pretty much the greatest cook ever.

Seriously. If you're looking for a new outstanding chef for your restaurant, I'm your man. Um. Woman.

I got a recipe the other day from Martha Stewart for a curried sweet potato stew. I thought it looked pretty easy and very tasty.

I used the recipe as kind of a guide but used stuff I had rather than what the recipe asked for. And it turned out delicious!

Behold, Aunt Bee's Sweet Potato Stew!

And if you were wondering . . . no. I will not ever reveal my secret recipe! I only told the cat and he's not telling anyone!

11.11.2007

When You're too in Love to Let It Go

I AM BRILLIANT!

Do you remember three months ago when I told you I was trying to fix my old computer?

I totally forgot to tell you. It turns out I'm brilliant and fixed not only Nigel but I also managed to get my brother's laptop going.

Unfortunately, Nigel continues to gather a bit of dust.

11.10.2007

God Damn The Pusher Man

Momma

My mom is a little addicted to Vanilla Cokes.

But only at Sonic. She's tried a few at other places but there's just something about Sonic.

This morning, as she headed out the door, she told me she was going to pick up a couple of prescriptions and would be right back. Somehow, I wasn't surprised she came back with a Vanilla Coke.

"So the doctor is prescribing caffeine these days?"

"I pulled up and the girl came right out. I didn't even have to order. 'She saw you coming and knew what you wanted!'"

Buncha pushers!

11.09.2007

No Need to Ask

Boys

Sunday, I was having dinner with everyone over at BJ's. BJ was complaining about having to pay some doctor bill.

"Move to Canada," Mitch suggested.

I had another idea. "Or vote for Hillary."

Both of the boys groaned.

"I'll never vote for her!" Mitch declared.

"If she wins the election, I'm moving!" Bret was really worked up.

I had never seen the boys so passionate about anything that didn't involve games. I was curious to see what had made them so set against having Clinton in the White House. "Why do you feel that way?"

Mitch answered. "She hates games."

Bret expanded. "She's already tried to ban them. If she becomes president, God knows what she'll do!

I should have known. It's always about the games!

11.08.2007

Have You Ever Had Trouble With Your Automobile?

Allie Knows Everybody

You're sick of hearing about what a bad friend I am. And if you are my friend, you're sick of having to deal with it.

Allie is one such friend. We went from seeing each other almost every day when we worked together to the situation we are in now: I have not hung out with Allie since February.

Sure, that night was fun-packed enough to last a lifetime, but you can never have too much Allie time.

We finally arranged to hang out a couple of days ago. We met at On the Border where, as usual, Allie knew half the people there.

Our waiter came over and chatted with her. "Yeah I drove by that pond the other day and laughed. You know--the pond you drove your car into?"

"You wha--?" I was nearly speechless.

"Oh. Ha. Thanks!" Allie was turning red.

"How have I not heard this story?" I've heard a lot of embarrassing Allie stories.

"i just kinda drove my car into a pond and it had to be towed out. Anyway, moving on . . ."

"No way! you can't just sum that up so quickly! I need the whole story!"

Allie had just been inducted into the National Honor Society and was supposed to attend her first meeting. Her sponsor, knowing how Allie sometimes likes to be fashionably late, ordered her to be on time.

That morning, Allie rushed her brother out the door and into the car. She was running late.

As she sped down the road, she realized she still had two lights to go through. She didn't feel she could take the chance and decided to take what she thought was a shortcut.

I have no idea why she thought it was a shortcut. Her brother was equally confused.

"What are you doing?" He yelled as she made the split-second decision and yanked the wheel, steering the car directly into a pond.

"I didn't think it was that deep!" She explained to me.

Apparently waist-high water is deep enough and the engine stalled. "And then it started smoking!"

She and her brother rushed to roll down the windows. They tossed their backpacks on the roof and then climbed on top of the car.

Allie called her dad. "Hey Dad. I'm having some car trouble."

That's when I really lost it. Just a wee problem, Daddio!

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"We're fine."

"What happened?"

"The car won't start."

Yeah. Who knows why?

Her Dad set out to come help. Soon after Allie hung up, a carload of her friends stopped on their way to the meeting. They were also late. "What happened?"

Allie and her brother waded to the other side of the pond so they could hitch a ride. "My dad should be here soon. Let's wait for him."

Soon enough, Allie's dad showed up back on the other side of the pond. "Hey Dad!"

"ALLISON!"

"I gotta get to school!" She called. "Love you!"

The List grows even longer!

11.06.2007

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

Why can't something like this happen in my office? Oh man I would laugh!

You're Old Enough to Know

BJ

As I previously mentioned, I'm trying to participate in NaNoReMo.

I had planned to buy the book and follow the syllabus. I finally bought the book on Sunday.

The cashier struck up conversation as he was scanning my purchases. "The phrase comes from this book, you know."

"Uh. Yeah."

"It's been a long time since I've read the book so I don't really remember, but there's this theory that you could start the book from any chapter and still know what's going on."

I thought about testing the theory, but decided to go with my original plan. As I've been reading the book, I can see how the theory might be true.

The book reads like a bunch of short stories that all happen in the same place. This may change--I'm only through chapter eight. I'd like to see someone else try it.

Tonight, BJ called and asked what I was doing.

"I'm reading Catch-22."

"I've seen that movie!" He exclaimed. "They burn books!"

"I think that's Fahrenheit 451."

"Same thing!"

11.05.2007

So Keep Your Distance It's Rubbing Off

KU vs KSU

You all know I'm a big Sooners fan. But my number two is KU.

Their football team is having quite a year. They're one of three undefeated teams in the top twenty five and as of today, are ranked number five on most polls.

While I've been very excited about their wins, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep telling everyone that they're really not that good of a team.

They're not! I saw them play KSU in person. Sure, they won, but it was really quite sloppy.

After watching KU crush Nebraska on Saturday, I'm prepared to take it all back. Their offense was unstoppable!

Of course, now I've gone and jinxed it. They won't win another game.

11.04.2007

It's Good News Week

Sophia

I hate to say this, because I'm usually pretty "glass half-empty" when it comes to myself, but this week has been pretty good.

I've had several customers and fellow bankers say good things about me. No really! I mean, of course I get yelled at a lot. But this week, I've been complemented and actually feel a little appreciated! It's nice to hear I am actually helping someone!

And of course there was Halloween. Any week that involves costumes and candy is going to be awesome.

To top it all off, Friday I got my schedule changed. Yeah, after all that griping, it finally happened.

It only took seven months . . .

11.03.2007

I'd Jive and Strive to Stay Alive

Cranberry Apple Crisp

I decided I wanted to make meatloaf today. So last night, I stopped by the store to buy hamburger.

On my way in, I was talking to Jacque on my phone. And still, some creepy kid decided to come talk to me.

There's something about the boys who work at Dillons. They always talk to me.

I didn't even realize he was talking to me because not only was I on the phone, but I had my back to him because I was getting a cart. But when I turned around I saw his lips moving three inches from my face.

I finally made my way back to the meat section and was faced with the dilemma on what to buy. I don't buy hamburger often. But I don't remember it being so difficult.

There's so many different varieties, now. There's several different percentages of "lean." There's chuck or maybe you really want ground sirloin. How about organic or even turkey?

A product of my parents, I pick up the cheapest pound. But then I checked out the label and was pretty freaked out.

"With Natural Flavors."

Um. So does that mean it's natural because it's meat? Or does that mean I'm buying mystery meat?

I'm weirded out enough that I end up buying the organic which ends up costing me about two more bucks. But I just knew my meatloaf was going to be awesome!

I was purchasing my stuff at the self-checkout when my new best friend planted himself right beside me. He started telling me all about how he doesn't like the magazines by the checkout. "It's yellow journalism!"

Think Milhouse. But as a teenager. And without the blue hair.

I was nice but tried to move fast. I laughed one more fake laugh and said goodbye and shot out of there.

Today, I went into the kitchen to start my marvelous meatloaf. I opened the fridge and . . . "Hmm. Where's the meat?"

That's right. I took ten minutes to decide on a stupid one pound package of meat only to leave it at the store.

So I made cranberry apple crisp instead. Much healthier.

11.01.2007

I'm Going Nowhere Slow and I Think I'm Losing My Mind

Outside the Homestead

Against my better judgment, I'm participating in both NaBloPoMo and NaNoReMo.

I'm not doing so bad at the blog thing. Of course, this is only day two. It's the book part I'm having trouble with.

I haven't even purchased the book, yet.

It's Always more Fun

Score!

Last night, I went trick-or-treating for the first time in probably fifteen years.

Sophia was pretty on when it came to the candy. She was really good and holding that bag open.

Some of the other stuff freaked her out, though. Particularly the coffin that had a creepy skeleton in it. It took her a few minutes to get over that one.

She didn't quite get the door-to-door stuff so well. She'd take the candy and then try to push her way into everyone's homes.

When we got back home, everyone was trying to steal her candy. And while she didn't want to share, she was really enjoying flaunting the fact that she had candy and nobody else did.

Anytime someone even moved to touch her bag, she'd holler and dash away. Of course, wherever she went, there was someone else to try to steal her precious precious candy.

Toward the end of the night, the living room cleared out a bit and Sophia sat on the couch with me. She would dig in her bag, bring out a piece of candy and ask her favorite question "What's that?"

Then it was pajama time, so she put her bag in her sight but far from anyone else in the room. When she went back to get it, Mary asked "Can Grandma have some candy?"

"No!"

"Can Mommy have some candy?"

" . . . No!"

"Can Aunt Bee have some candy?"

"Aunt Bee?"

We were all surprised and waited for her to say no. And then she came over and gave me a sucker.

None of us could believe it. Raw and Mary were cranky.

It didn't help that Sophia then proceeded to give me every piece of candy in her bag.

"I drove the van! I held your hand while you trick-or-treated!"

"I stayed at home with the baby so you could go trick-or-treating!"

Of course I wasn't going to keep her candy. Just knowing I'm awesome enough that she'd want to share was enough for me. Sweet victory!

Well, sweet victory and then the couple of pieces I snuck into my pocket as we were putting the candy back into the bag.

Okay it was three pieces!

Everybody Seems to Think I'm Lazy

Jacque and Raw

I've got The Real Housewives of Orange County on while I'm redecorating.

One of the wives is griping about how her daughter just doesn't understand how hard she works.

"I'm constantly working the twelve hours I'm awake."